Sunday, October 3, 2010

In the Beginning...There Was Blog

Ha!  The title sounds like someone was talking and then threw up at the end of the sentence.  Blooggggggg.  Gross.

There's a certain feeling I get when starting one of these things and I can feel that feeling rising up now.  I feel like I have to be poetic, bust out my thesaurus (I swear many more people secretly use one than I ever thought even knew what the hell a thesaurus was, it's crazy the way people think people talk) and use classy vocab words I would never say, and write with a structure of the Power Writing days of fifth grade.  The simple fact is I write like I speak and those lucky few that know me know that I am no linguist.  And I mean, a blog?  Really?  Get outta here!  No, wait, don't get outta here.  Stay here and read, cause that's why you've been drawn like a moth to the moon to a blog site, rite?  I mean right?  And what better activity for a bored, south-sub-suburbanite, nerd-since-birth to do with his time than to type up every little emotion and thought that runs through that gray mass the eggheads have named a 'brain?'  Actually, I can think of about a zillion things, but if I'm stuck here, than so are you.  I've got some stuff to say, none of it very relevant, a lot of it crass.  I mean, I started it with half a Bible quote and then made a joke about vomit.  It's uphill from here, right?  I hope to not offend on purpose unless purpose is made, but I probably will offend and sometimes with a purpose and in those times most definitely on it.  That's usually why I write these puppies to began with, these word vomits with an end game, because something offended me or made me think.  And usually when I get offended by something I make an effort to think and understand why and putting it down on eee-lectronic paper is a soothing bit of therapy.  

But I could always write my feelers down on The Facebook (in theaters now), yes?  Facebook feels too high school year book to me, not the kind of place for the serious thoughts and opinions that a reputable blog on a random site on the internet is made for...especially this blog of mine.  Nobody wants drama with their long lost high school chums, they want to write in their end of school year book every day.  Instead of 'Have a good trip, See you next Fall!' we write 'Hey there's your face in a small cube next to tinier cubes with all those other people you know!  I'll glance at it again tomorrow!'  Spoonfuls of sugar and sunshine it is, or that's what I think it's supposed to be.  And I'm not knocking Facebook, I think it's a great tool to stay in touch and for people to tell us when they're eating dinner or using the can, I just don't think it should be a soapbox for grievances, although it's too often used as such and sometimes with a baffling attempt at anonymity.  'Hey I hate you, you know who you are!'  And now, so does the Northern Hemisphere...thanks.

Now a random internet blog penned by one of the six billion folks on Earth and read by even fewer, that's my kinda soapbox.  And I kinda like to write, so what better than to catch the loose shit spilling out of my brain on a daily basis and throw it down in cyberspace?  But I do tend to rant.  If you've gotten this far, you figured that out.  I do tend to tangent...don't think that's the right usage there...but I'll give it my best to stay on the track.  And I gotta try not to make this a 'listen to me bitch' blog or a 'look how goddamn cool I am' blog or a 'I deserve to be heard, shout from the rooftops, loudest is right, Glenn Beck' blog.  Although I do go on a tear (really English language?  Tear?  Tear?  Unoriginal swine) once in a great while, I promise to attempt to try to make an effort not to bitch...too much.  But we do live in a world where if someone bitches loud enough and long enough, some poor sap will give in and give them everything they want.  So, I guess if that's the case, we'll just have to see...

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