|I won't watch any films that don't have subtitles because I'm a grumpy-ass.|
That was the first picture that came up when I Googled grumpy. It's not my picture, don't sue me. I couldn't resist. On to the list!
|Not in the face! Not in the...it's too late, it's in her face.|
|This guy. This guy likes Youth In Revolt. STOP SOILING THE GOOD NAME OF PBR!|
Wow, that was a fair amount of complaining. For a finale, I thought I'd throw out some movies from 2010 that I was for sure that I'd call shitty. Surprisingly, they were pretty much the opposite, as you'll read presently. Or don't. No skin off my nose.
Grown-Ups - Ughhhh. I know. It hurt me to admit it too, trust me. But when I started laughing at several of the jokes, I realized I didn't hate it. I laughed terribly hard at a joke about prohibition. By the end of the movie, I saw that I was still living and hadn't smothered myself with a pillow. I think that's as ringing an endorsement as any. I miss the days of Adam Sandler being the immature dolt like Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but I can understand if he's trying to do...how do I put this without a pun? Oh I can't? Oh well, grown-up roles. This seems like a step back for him but I laughed and I'm not gonna lie and say I'm above this kind of comedy. 'Cause to be honest, I love a good immature joke, and so does everyone else. Kevin James still isn't terribly funny to me, though. All of my street cred...gone, after that review.
Daybreakers - What is this movie you may be asking? It's fair, it wasn't exactly celebrated on it's release...in January or February or whenever that was. And yes, it's a vampire movie. "Oh my god, it's dumb, vampires are dumb." No, Twilight vampires are dumb, and they're not vampires. Real, gruesome, kill-your-whole-family vampires are sweet. That's what you get in this, with the added pleasure of the entire population being vampires and humans are farmed for blood. Cool. The story was good, the acting was good, the special effects were awesome. When the vampires got staked they exploded into fire. Good stuff. The world they created was great. There was a School Zone Speed Limit sign that said, 'When children are present between the hours of 8PM to 3AM.' Detail! And there was lots and lots of blood. Did I mention Willem Dafoe? Just a cool movie. And you probably would have never wanted to see it if not for my ringing endorsement. You probably still don't. I hate you.
Piranha 3D - Remember when I said Jackass 3D was the second best use of 3D this year? Well, this was the first. Schlocky, gruesome, and hilariously self-aware of it's own awfulness, this movie won me over almost instantly, with a big name cameo and homage to Jaws to start it all off. 3D was used to, what I consider to be, it's absolute fullest potential. Evil fish flying at your face, dismembered... members... limbs I mean, and an underwater ballet of women, all rendered in glorious triple-dimensions. Everybody knew they were making a B-movie and that doesn't usually end up with good results. It usually just means they made a bad movie and tried to play it off like they were being clever. And Christopher Lloyd! Doc Brown! Genius. Pure, campy fun and the only reason 3D should used...to make fun of 3D.
|I'm starting a 'More Adam Scott in 3D' club. It was like I could touch him.|
Well, those were my picks for Best, Worst, and WTF? of 2010. Just to be clear, I wrote all of my Bests and Worsts before I watched the Oscars, which is why I didn't say who won or not. 'Cause hell if I knew. I know it's seems high and mighty of me to tell you what movies I thought were the Best and Worst but, that's what blogs are for, because there's gotta be somebody out there who thinks my opinions are valid. Hello? Anyone? Dammit. My mommy does...probably.